Old Sri Lankan Advertisements

Some interesting Advertisments (mostly published in the Newspaper) of yesteryear Sri Lanka.

Source: unknown. Received through a chain mail.

For a comfortable life - Lifebuoy Soap!

Goya Perfume - to be used while bathing and afterwards

Jumping Fish - Printed Material "New designs for Mother & Daughter"

There was a time in Sri Lanka where choice of fashion was definitely a luxury. Under the extreme socialist approaches taken by the great World's First Female Head of State (which we are all so proud of) you couldn't consume anything as much as you wanted. Food and other essentials was rationed so was clothing! Imagine the entire country having to stitch their dress with the same material!!? (And you complain that the stuff at ODEL are too common) :p

"I get all my strength through Marmite, so does my family".  - WOW!

Sunlight Detergent Soap - presented as an alternative to the "Man who washes clothes" (in the traditional custom of washing and cleaning clothes by dashing it against a rock apparently this man creates more ripped clothes than washed clothes!)

I like this one - "A singing machine called a Gramaphone!"

Car Advert for a "FIAT 600 - 4 seater Saloon"

- Rollable large windows

- Comfortable seating for four with well lit interior

- Reclinable Rear seats 

- Spray windscreen washer!

- Extra space underneath the bonnet for suitcases, bags etc.

- Levers on the steering wheel to control signal lights and head lights!

Rs. 7,850/- ($60 today)

Bicycle Advert Rs. 75/- (56p)

An advert for a movie, written in the format of a letter to the people of Sri Lanka by the Movie Director.

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What is this Change we're talking about?

(Please read till the last line in order to get what the article is about.)

Moratuwa 08.01.15 / 9:30 am

The polling station is the Church Hall near our home. I'm standing in a queue. I've voted before and gone with my parents to vote when I was much younger but I've never seen a queue here.

Colombo 07.01.15 / 12 hours before..

I'm in a tuk on my way home. Today is a weird day, I've been in a total of 5 tuks! (Dropped my phone in one and tracked it down with another as well)

I've managed to ask 4 of the drivers about tomorrow (8th) here were the answers: (translated)

1. We can't live like this everyday sir. We need some change 

2. "Definitely for the betel leaf. No need to lie sir"

3. "We can't let them steal like this forever"

4. "Who are you voting for sir? I'm sorry its just that these days I'm scared. I also have children and 2 daughters at that. We do this night time job and its not very safe to speak your mind in these troubled times"

I was most interested by Driver no. 4's comment. That's ridiculous man!
I recently watched the Hobbit and it sounds like a dialogue that some Shirefolk might say when talking about the Dark Lord's spies!

What is the Change we're talking about?

THIS is the Change we're talking about!

We live in a Sri Lankan Era where the word 'politics' is a synonym for 'corruption'. 

From having a Guiness record for the largest cabinet in the world (yes! a freaking guiness world record : http://www.guinnessworldrecords.com/world-records/most-cabinet-ministers-appointed-by-a-government/) to the village thug being appointed to Provincial Council or Parliament. Save for a few, Sri Lanka probably has the least efficient and respectable set of politicians as our leaders.

What is the Change we're talking about?

THIS is the Change we're talking about!

We live in a Sri Lankan Era where the only law in practice is bribery (oh wait! that's not actually legal is it?)

The Traffic Cop who politely wishes you a goodnight if you've slipped in something to his notebook and the high level criminal who can get away scot-free if he makes sure the right calls are made and his secretary handles an efficient bank transfer. Everyone understands that the foundation of our society is power and money as opposed to law and order.

What is the change we're talking about?

THIS is the change we're talking about!

We live in a Sri Lankan Era where Good-governance and transparency is a thing of the future (I can't say 'past' since we've probably not had much of this anyway)

From unimaginable amounts of public money pocketed through commissions for projects to almost all government procedures needing some sort of influence.

From mega exploits of power which includes amending the constitution to ensure the perpetuity of the existing regime (thereby also kicking democracy out the door) to minor, trivial and ridiculous power abuses - I'm sure you and I both know what these are.

What is the change we're talking about?

THIS is the change we're talking about!

We live in a Sri Lankan Era where accountability shows an error message when typed in the dictionary (you almost thought of typing it noh?)

Amazing development projects are embarked upon with no checks of relevance and feasibility. Failed businesses continue to run towards a precipice, bleeding heavily on its way and the blood of course is of tax payers. The unchecked foreign debt accumulation from this lunacy and greed-drunkenness has doomed the destiny of the next generation of Sri Lankans.

Politicians campaigning for people's votes make statements and promises that they forget about the minute they are elected. The time has come where the fate of this economy and the Tax payers money lies in the desires and wishes of a few and their superstitions and no one can actually hold them accountable.

When I watched "Wolf of Wall Street" I thought I was watching a political satire of Sri Lankan authorities (scary how I might have even be right if the story was taken in a very symbolic and metaphorical sense)

What is the change we're talking about?

THIS is the change we're talking about!

We live in a Sri Lankan era where freedom in most sense of the word is restricted

What do you mean? Do I have freedom of speech and expression? Ofcourse I do!

But what about the many (dead) journalists who were trying to express their views? (leaving aside the fact that those views might have even been the actual truth)

What about Lasantha Wickrematunge who's death anniversary we commemorate today?

What about those in the North & East who are still traumatized by the war and haven't been able to rebuild their lives?

What about those in the South ESPECIALLY Hambantota - who feel alienated from their hometowns and villages through the rapid construction of empty ports, empty airports and empty convention centres?

What about Tuk Driver no. 4 who is scared to share an opinion with a passer-by??

What is the change we're talking about?

THIS is the change we're talking about!

So while standing in that queue at 9:30 in the morning on the day of the 2015 Presidential Elections of Sri Lanka I was thinking about what the Tuk Tuk Driver had said 12 hours before.

The change we're talking about can be achieved by BOTH potential Presidential candidates.

The only question is whether whoever is elected is willing to actually MAKE that Change!

This election is special because it probably will have some historic records of voter turnout (note the queue at my polling station).

Vote for Change?

But it is also special because for the first time in a long time the majority of the people have actually bothered to give a damn! The engagement levels for the run up to it are easily the highest ever - mainly because of Social media but also because people have been much more expressive of their opinions.

Those currently in power and those 'aspiring' to be in power be warned - you cannot work towards prolonging the current Sri Lankan Era because We the People (who should by right be the most powerful entity of this society) will strive for change.

What is the Change we're talking about?
A change that will not be limited to an election, a change that will ensure a NEW SRI LANKAN ERA!

Whatever candidate that you've been supporting is irrelevant. Can you deny that you want to see change? And by 'change' I mean the change that we're talking about.

"When the people fear their government there is tyranny, when the government fear its people there is Liberty"

For edutainment purposes:
Here are two of Sunil Perera's songs that perfectly highlights the issues mentioned. It's in Sinhala so apologies for those who might not understand.
1. "Pahasuwatath, Lesiyatath"
2. "Lankaawe, Apey Lankaawe"

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Common Candidate Siri Comments

Common Candidate Siri comments by saying "No Comment" when asked whether he would be the Next President of Sri Lanka.

I guess this echoes the thoughts of all the common people. 

Does this common candidate drama serve any purpose? Ofcourse! Something for the whole country to talk about over drinks on Friday.

Well.. no, any real purpose? "No comment"

Note: If you're a Sri Lankan and you didn't get the joke or is actually thinking "Why the Common Candidate Drama" will not be serving any real purpose - please shoot yourself!

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7 Things the Brits gave Sri Lanka

Every year on the 4th of Feb, Sri Lankan's celebrate a 'supposed' Independence Day. It's nothing much really, just one more public holiday in the Lankan calendar (which already has about 30! - yes, Sri Lanka only has 11 months of work for the year!)

A lot of us grumble saying that we would probably be better off if the Suddha's* never left. So here's a small list of random things that came into being as a result of the British Colonisation of Sri Lanka.

(Now don't be stupid - of course this list excludes the obvious pros and cons of colonialism - stuff you learn't in school :-p)


1. CRICKET - Yes, I truly believe this was the most important thing the English gave Sri Lanka. If not for the '96 World Cup and the other achievements thereafter, Sri Lanka would be even more insignificant than it is currently. Also it's the only thing that we can kick England's (or for that matter anyone's) ass at!

2. Pants - Imagine wearing sarong to work - pretty darn chilled out noh? But well, anyone who wears a sarong to sleep-in, know why we only wear it to sleep in!

3. Full Suits -  In the same breath of relief that we say point number 2 - a full suit in a country blessed with a 30 degree heat in most parts?? Why do weddings have to be such complicated affairs? Before the Brits turned up, weddings were occasions where the Bride and Groom actually enjoyed - rather than curse the entire day!

Tram Cars in Colombo

4. Electricity - The Brits wanted to build a tramcar operation. Don't be surprised, just like we haven't built a kilometer more of rail tracks, once they went, we didn't follow up on this. Still for all, this was how Sri Lanka got electricity. So don't complain too much about power cuts.

5. Christianity - ok lets just say just Christmas? Two more holidays* added to the calendar and a country with a majority not even believing in the religion, has an excuse to party!

6. An accent free English - How often do we make fun of the Indian accent? Lol.. true yarr? (sorry, cant help it) haha.. Apparently Sri Lankans speak a very pure form of English. No cockney, no geordie, no dropping the r's, southwest, midlands or anything. "We speak the 'Queen's English' son!"

7. End of the Monarch system - Well I don't need to say much, at least after so many years I think today we've managed to work around this one! ;-)

The Last King of Ceylon..?

*Suddha - (Sinhala) dir.: White one. An informal term used for white people/ foreigners.
*Two more holidays - as a result of Christianity being a nationally accepted religion Christmas Day and Good Friday are Public Holidays.

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La lingua pura altrimenti lingua Franca?

Don't get too excited.. What the Italian title means, simply: "The pure language or else the bridge language?"

And no, I can't speak Italian, I'm just a great fan of google translator (Specially for pick-up lines!)

Just to get everyone on the same page - Sinhala is the most widely spoken language of Sri Lanka and Sri Lanka is also the only country where one of the the two national languages is Sinhala. Next comes Tamil which is also (supposedly) an official language and then right beneath - English.

We are very proud to have a native language that is older than the English language (although most are oblivious to the fact that both Sinhala and Tamil are very much the offsprings of Indo-Aryan parentage). Added to this no English joke can have the same quality and humour as a Sinhala or Tamil joke!

However, it is a bit of a sad scene-cons* to realize that for some reason Sri Lankans in general are extremely lingo-insensitive! (I just invented that :p)

The bus conductor keeps screaming "KOHEDA BAHINNE??"(where do you get down in Sinhala) at the elderly Tamil speaking lady in the bus, and she in return screams "MUNNALA SANDHI" (junction in front in Tamil), creating the only bit of entertainment for the others in the bus.

Despite living in a multi ethnic, multi lingual country, 96% of Sinhalese, can't speak Tamil, 3% can manage, 0.5% are very fluent and 0.5% just know the swear words!

For those who consider Tamil as their mother tongue this is slightly different. But that's just because - they don't have a choice.

All government institutions including hospitals, the police and judiciary predominantly function in Sinhala. Wait! What? The police??

Recently, our domestic helper gets a call from her mother in Hatton* informing that for some unfathomable reason, a neighbour (male, 40 ish) who lives in the plantation area has assaulted her (female, 70 ish) over some petty issue.

This lady comes to visit her daughter regularly and stays for a few weeks at our place when she does. It was not even two weeks since she last said "baba saappa-dinga" (eat!) after I walked in home after work.

My mother promptly inscructs our maid to tell her to lodge a complaint at the police and if she is not comfortable to stay in Hatton, to come back to our place for the time being.

Then she realises...

She CAN'T lodge a complaint! This lady (unlike our maid who is duo-lingual and her 3 year old kid who is Tri-lingual!) can only speak Tamil.

What a situation to face - leaving aside the fact that she's a widow at 70+ living alone in the chilly slopes of Hatton, to be assaulted by some lunatic, but to top it all - to know that for that night - there is absolutely NOTHING that she can do to protect herself (practically, mentally, emotionally, theoretically, legally, any blooming sort of protection!!)

So I'm sorry to disappoint anyone who wanted more horror in this story - Thank the God above, she's not critically injured or worse (nothing seems to sink in these days without some horror) BUT...

Before something does happen, not just to her but for the many others as well - let's take a small reality check. 

Fine! You can be proud about your mother tongue but Sinhala tongues - please exercise it in order to be fluent in Tamil. Tamil tongues - please do the same to be able to communicate in Sinhala.

Firstly, do what you can to always insist that whatever official document in Sinhala should always be supplemented with Tamil and vice versa.

no, before that... GET THE POLICE TO FUNCTION IN BOTH LANGUAGES!

Try and make an effort wherever possible to conduct any official function/event in both languages.

Next,

For anyone reading this blog the next statement maybe irrelevant 

but if you think hard enough we all know atleast a few of those "language fanatics" - (Grandparents, aunts, uncles or even friends? Ya? Ahhh..)

So lastly encourage them to to keep pride aside - leave both these "lingua pura" (pure language) for the "lingua Franca" - Engleesh! :)

A recently circulated traffic survey - lingua pura

*scene-cons - read my previous post for meaning

*hatton - a town located in the central hills of Sri Lanka

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